Preparing for Seminary – bearing witness

The summer is quickly coming to a close and a new adventure is about to start – I will be entering Seminary at Drew in just a few weeks.  As I contemplate the life change ahead, I wonder – Am I really ready for this?  Is this where my future lies?  Will I ever be “good enough” to serve others?  My life has not been a storybook version of what others might expect in their clergy.  As I consider these thoughts, I am comforted, at least a bit, to know that John Wesley, the original Methodist – had many of the same concerns but eventually came to understand that you did not have to be perfect to serve God.  Ok – so my past mistakes in life will not be an impediment - but can I really be a person that can be there to comfort others, to help them connect with their spiritual needs?

I got a bit of an answer today – when quite unexpectedly I ran into an old acquaintence.  Stopping for some friendly words, I soon found myself in a lengthy discussion, in a very public place, about the nature of God, spiritual beliefs, how tragedies in life affect us, and what role might God have in them, does God have a set plan for our lives and much more. 

While I have had similar conversations with others, they have always been in “safe” settings, places where it was expected that such conversations would be had, or times when only the participants in that conversation are close by.  Today was different – today I sat in a crowded barber shop and shared my beliefs.  Perhaps for the first time I truly felt that I was being a disciple, spreading word of God’s grace, bearing witness to my faith.  While my old friend was deep in the conversation with me, it was those that surrounded us that may have gotten the most out of our talk.  As the two of us shared our thoughts, I noticed that others around were listening, often trying to appear as if they were not .  No one joined our conversation – but I wonder how  many of them may have left the shop thinking about their own faith.  Did they go home tonight and share the story with their spouse of two guys in a Barber Shop talking about God and faith – and did that lead to a discussion of their own. 

Wether that talk had an effect on anyone else or not, I know that for me it was just what I needed today, a tangible example that I can be the witness God is calling me to be, that I probably do have what it takes to make this path a fruitful one.  Only time will tell for sure, but I have faith that this is the right path.